CT: A Hailstorm Beats A Shitstorm

There was something magnificent about that storm. Although I was drenched and battered by hail, internally I felt balanced and sturdy. The past 48 hours had been a series of knocks and shocks, but I had managed to absorb them with grace and gratitude. One of the miraculous elements of thru-hiking, I suppose, is learning that you’re capable of so much more than you had imagined. The irony of this is that those revelations were not always admirable. I had learned a great deal about my own capacity for avoidance, duplicity, and selfishness.

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Colorado Trail: Salida, I love you.

This post was originally published on The Trek, which you can find here. July 21st I relish the epicurean sense of indulgence that follows deprivation and asceticism. Backpacking is gratifying, intensely introspective, and demanding on many different levels. It is relieving to counterbalance that mode of being with moments of playfulness or outright hedonism. To […]

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Colorado Trail: No Feeling is Final, Just Keep Going.

God speaks to each of us as (s)he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night. These are the words we dimly hear: You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of your longing. Embody me. Flare up like flame and make big shadows I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don’t let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand.

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Colorado Trail: Panic! At The Grocery Store

This post first appeared on The Trek, which you can read here. July 16th I found myself on the floor of the Safeway in Leadville, Colorado, with my back pressed against a grotesquely large selection of various shampoos and sunscreens. I wasn’t thinking about how ridiculous or concerned I might appear to bystanders or Safeway […]

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Leadville and The Colorado Trail House

This post was first published on The Trek, which you can find here. The streets of Leadville were lined with houses painted in pastels of every shade imaginable. They all seemed to be slightly variable versions of the same small A-frame with funky geometric trims bordering the shutters and porches. Walking along the sidewalk, I […]

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Colorado Trail: Absolution and Endurance

This post first appeared on The Trek, which you can read here. July 12th There is a state—a bodily, mental, and spiritual plane of existence—wherein absolution is achieved in endurance. Awareness tightens in a gyre of relentless focus. Begets a black hole, a pinprick through which all concerns must pass, reshaping themselves into essential forms: […]

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Colorado Trail: Internal Terrain of Thru-Hiking

This post first appeared on The Trek, which you can read here. This series is a retrospective on my 2020 Colorado Trail thru-hike. July 7th On the edge of the Green River, I slept more deeply than I had in ages, curled into dreams that bled into other dreams. Megan and I stowed our respective […]

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